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Who is Paying for this Wedding?
By Megan Mercer
Last Update: November 5, 2004

As the couple to be married it is your wedding and your day…however don’t forget that many other people, family and friends, also have a vested interest in your big day. This is especially true for those who are making a financial contribution to the wedding!

Money from Mom & Dad
Before asking for or accepting money from your parents, there are many things to consider. Of course it will be wonderful to have assistance with the wedding expenses, however you will have to allow for their input and involvement in planning the wedding.

If you accept contributions from you parents, remember to always be gracious and thankful that they are willing to help provide a wedding for you and your fiancé. Keep in mind that being up front in the beginning about everyone’s expectations and exactly how much money there is to go around may help prevent any hard feelings in the long run.  Decide on a budget and stick to it!

Tip: Be sure to talk about how much money they can/will provide, but also decide exactly how the money will be handled. Some families choose to open a joint checking account for the expressed purpose of paying for wedding expenses. Some parents choose to give a lump sum to be used at the bride and groom's discretion toward the wedding expenses.  While other parents feel strongly that they are the ones writing and mailing each check to the florist, caterer, and so on. There is no right way to handle the money, but it would be wrong not to discuss and agree on how the payments will be made.

Tip: Keep detailed financial records of every wedding expense, especially since you are using other people’s money. This way any confusion or misunderstandings about the budget can be easily resolved.

Miss Independent
Now let’s suppose that you and your fiancé are putting up all of the cash. While you will have more control over all of the wedding plans, you don’t want to start your marriage in debt or at odds over the extravagance of the affair. Make sure that you completely agree on a budget and openly discuss your expectations for the big day. Also remember to include both of your styles and personalities throughout the wedding.

Over budget…now what?
So you spent all of that time and energy creating a budget that everyone agreed to, and you still went over…who pays for that? If the bride and groom make plans that fall outside of the original wedding budget, then it is their responsibility to make up the difference.

This is also true for anyone else involved in the wedding. For example, if the mother of the bride decides that she wants to invite 10 more people that than the budget allows, she should come up with the money to cover the overage. If this isn’t possible, you may have to cut back on some other aspect of the wedding.